gotta spill it out

wht kinda test this is?it's just a small small matter but i couldnt take it.i really couldnt take it when it comes to me n people.gosh i hate it.i really really hate it.i hate my lack ability to handle even a small simple test.it really drives me up the wall.it's sort of my gr8 weakness not being able to accept how ppl are.how bold to expect people to follow ur way when ur way is the not the rite way at all.it's all me.sounds emotional enough.yes it is and i am as a matter of fact.go away evil.go far far away.dont get mad.dats wht i keep telling myself.everytime.all the time.it's like climbing a very steep cliff and everytime i'm climbing higher and higher i keep falling down and my my whole arms and body got very numb and tired of it.it's like a journey that will never end for me to climb to the top of the mountain.even a cliff is strenous for me.how could i ever reach the top of a mountain.this thing's really driving me out of my mind.O' Allah please please give me strength.this is nothing compared to the real thing but now i'm already being driven nuts by it.there's so much hatred in me.it's all in me.i'm the only one who can ever control it if i try really hard.yes i can do it."along with hardship is relief".y dont i even apply that?it's so easier said than done.how Allah hates people who said something they didn't do..havent i known this all along?